31 May 2012

30 Day Shred

"When I wake up in my makeup, it’s too early for that dress. Wilted and faded somewhere in Hollywood, I’m glad I came here with your pound of flesh"

I’m one of those people who like to make lists, charts, all those things where you can tick something off to say you’ve done it, it’s a small sense of achievement. I find if I write something down I’m more inclined to do it.

Today is day 4 of my ‘master fitness plan’ (image below – my skills are wasted 
#couldhavebeenabluepeterpresenter), a 5.85k run in dreary Edinburgh this morning, managed in 33m 39s – 9.14mim/mi, I think this is the fastest I’ve run, it wasn’t a difficult run, maybe the rain helped! On Monday I started over with Jillian Michaels – ’30 Day Shred’ – I LOVE Jillian, I’ve watched the odd episode of The Biggest Loser and yes, I know she can be a bit mean, but she pushes you, and that’s what you want. And ‘Ripped in 30′ has now been purchased.

Back to The Shred though. I’ve never made it to 30 days with The Shred, 21 I think was my maximum, then I caught a cold and felt rubbish, but I did see results, and I did see them quickly. unfortunately my motivation to re-add The Shred back into my fitness routine has come only 2.5 weeks before I go on holiday so I will only get 15 days out of it until I’m back. I’m going to try and still do bits when I’m away, but we’ll see, sun, sea & all-inclusive may just be too good.

I’ve considered the whole ‘before & after’ photos, I’m not sure if I’m brave enough, maybe. I think there may be some kicking about on my old blog, I’ll see if I can hunt those out to see the different from then until now. I suppose when you’re seeing yourself everyday it’s hard to see changes. Around a stone down and really I don’t feel much different, I know my clothes are looser and the scales say I’m down, the only really noticeable difference is my boobs are getting smaller, which makes me sad (hello, surgery!).

30 May 2012

Hate Sleeping Alone

"I say I’d rather be with you but you are not around, so I’mma call somebody up and see if they be down, cause I hate sleeping alone, I hate sleeping alone"

It’s currently 10.39pm on a Wednesday evening in Edinburgh, I’m sitting alone in bed listening to Drake – the first positive thing to come from recent events, being able to again like a multitude of things I had forgotten I liked, music, sports, films, TV shows. I know you shouldn’t ever loose yourself when you become ‘a couple’ and it’s not so much that I did, I just forgot who I was. I’ve been told that I ‘changed’ in recent times, and not for the better, when really, I just got bored of not being me, of being the me I had become to please him, instead of being the real me.

To clarify what I mean let me explain. 13th February I received a text from my (now ex) boyfriend ‘I’ve sent you an email’, I knew it wasn’t going to be good, things hadn’t been great for a while, and if I’m not 100% honest about it, they should have ended about 2 years earlier, but when someone tells you that you’re the only thing getting them through University it makes you, well me at least, feel very responsible. The email, in a shortened version was, ‘I think we should split up’, after 6.5 years it came down to an email, possibly reasonable if distance was an issue but it wasn’t, anyways, I dealt with it, it wasn’t unexpected.

For the past few months I’ve spent time again with friends & family, rediscovered my love for football, injected colour into my wardrobe, lost around a stone so far, started to enjoy running and generally feeling happier. I won’t lie, there are have been a few moments of panic, ‘what if I never find anyone?’ then I have to remind myself that I’m only 27, I’ve been single for 3 months and I should be taking the time to spend it on myself and that’s is exactly what I intend to do.  I have the next 2.5 months set out fitness wise, #bikinibodybyxmas :), I have an unexpected holiday to Turkey in two weeks time, I’m enjoying getting fitter, loosing weight is just a great bonus, and overall being happy again. I have plans with my mate Dave for a few ‘extreme’ exercises, a bungee for one and a huge list that I’m working on. I’m going to get my backside in gear and take my (driving-instructor) Uncle up on his offer of (basically free) lessons, as much as I don’t need a car, the option would be amazing, a new flatmate will be sourced after holidays, as much as I don’t mind living alone, company would be nice. Boys, sorry, men shall be taking a back seat in terms of relationships, I’m all up for hanging out etc but right now I can’t commit to something full time. And as of yesterday I’m 70/30 on signing up for next years Edinburgh Marathon, I have no idea if it’s something I can achieve, but it would be great. I have my first 10K in October, marathon is only about 4 times that! (eek!)